I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
