i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
