Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
