dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
