Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
