C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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