Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's official drugs can't kill me
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
