Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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