I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
