i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
