Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
