haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
