i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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