i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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