$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
