dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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