Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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