so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
