Taylor Swift is so right about you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
