Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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