I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
