i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
