You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
