Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
