i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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