Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
