Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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