he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
