Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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