I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
