I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
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