Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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