I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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