yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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