I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
