Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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