is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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