So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
