my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
