respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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