I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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