Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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