youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she told me i tasted like america
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
