Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
