There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
