Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
