I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
