Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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