It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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