you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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